Why Whips, Chains, And Leprechauns?

For many, BDSM is part of the only the fantasy world. They see it as the violent, kinky sex portrayed in BDSM pornography. In reality, that is only one small aspect of BDSM. BDSM is an entire lifestyle. At it's very core, BDSM involves the transfer of power from one individual to another, that is, from a dominant to a submissive, or whatever titles you may prefer. For the dominant, it is a commitment to lead, to guide, to protect, and to care for the submissive. For the submissive, it is a commitment to serve, to obey, and to please her dominant.

It is what happens outside this dynamic that I'd like to go into today. For those engaged in the practice of BDSM beyond the bedroom, what is the relationship between the dominant and submissive? The real answer: it depends. For many, the two are lovers. That means for those people, in addition to the BDSM dynamic, they engage in activities that are characteristic of vanilla lovers, kissing, touching, and so on. BDSM relationships do occur, however, outside of the lover's relationship. In these relationships, the same transfer of power occurs, but it may or may not include sex-based play, which is what most people typically associated with BDSM. In my next post for this series I'll explore further into the non-lover based BDSM relationship.