Sated Appetites

To some extent all humans manifest traits of either domination or submission. Especially within the BDSM community people proclaim themselves as either a dominant or a submissive. There is no rule stating that you MUST be one or the other. Much of this lifestyle is about finding yourself and accepting it, not trying to mold into what you think you want to be. There is also a third category known as a switch. This individual switches roles based on their desire, mood at the time, or may just want their partner to have the opportunity to carry out their sexual needs.

A switch expresses the majority of their personality hence their sexuality in either the Dom role or the sub role. In general a switch can be regarded as a Dominant/Switch or a submissive/Switch. He/she will be primarily Dominant or submissive with a secondary orientation of the opposite. It’s very complex. Learning how to move easily and comfortably between both roles sometimes takes time. Most will never have the ability to actually flip flop in their sexual orientation. Normally there are periods where they will only derive satisfaction in dominating their lover and over time the need grows for them to be able to relinquish control whereby the switch is then entirely submissive for a time until they get it out of their system and vice versa.

Being a sub/Dom myself makes me familiar with what it feels like to be a submissive as well as a Dominant. Granted we are all unique, but I still have some understanding of what the state of dominating one’s will feels like which can certainly help me to identify with you if I am submitting you; which in turn can help me to create an environment where I can put you in the state that I want. I first learned I had a dominant side when a former Master expressed interest in being dominated by someone that he trusted. The prospect excited me and from the very first time that I took the reigns has never ceased to fulfill me in a way that only being submissive has not. I am thankful that I have had good Masters who were good teachers.

From my Master/my sub I remember clearly how I discovered I was a switch, I started as a submissive far from where I've settled now more often dominant than submissive. I was with my partner at the time, a dominant, she had me tightly by the hair forcing my head to the side and something just came over me something I knew was there but always pushed aside. But that night was different. I suddenly looked right into her eyes with a kind of determination. Her eyes widened slightly unused to seeing such an expression on my face then she returned the look and smiled. "So what ideas do you do you have in that head of yours?" As she was talking I slowly turned my head back upright, her grip on my hair never loosed and every scrap of hair was ripped out and left in her still tightly wound fist. She looked at her hand briefly then to my hair and back to me with a foreign intimidated and anticipating look in her eyes. I looked back with a fierce smile that had been growing on my face. The hair slowly slipped through her fingers on to the bed. "I'll do whatever you want me to." We both found out we were switches that night and our love life grew because of it.

Only within a trusting relationship can lovers encourage each other to continue to grow and experience new things within a safe environment, especially so within this lifestyle. It’s work like any aspect of a relationship, but well worth the effort.

cherigarcia {b}


If you are more interested in the ideas and ideals expressed here, a good deal of the insight was gathered from these informative works:
http://xeromag.com/fvbdswitch.html (by Franklin Veaux) and
http://steel-door.com/switches.htm (by Mistress Steel)