"Snap" Collars

Before I begin to talk about what I view as a "Snap" Collar, lets discuss my personal views of a collar is in the BDSM community. A collar is the ultimate symbol of ownership of a submissive. The sub wears this collar around his or her neck. However, to many, the ability to wear an actual collar on a daily basis as they go about their life with school, work, and the like, isn't feasible.

That being said, a collar can become anything given to the sub to remind him/her of their commitment to his/her Dom such as a necklace, bracelet, earrings, ring, mug, bookmark, or even a hair clip. Despite the actual article demonstrating a collar, the principle remains the same. Ownership. Woven into the collar is much more than just ownership.
Similar to every relationship we have, there are many layers. Here are just a few of those layers: Commitment, Trust, Honesty, Communication, Intimacy (emotional and physical), Love, Compromise, Forgiveness, Patience, Respect, Dependability/reliability, etc. Each relationship takes time. They normally don't happen within hours or even overnight. Some lucky few of us will have a strong relationship within a couple days. However, the "layers" I mentioned above take time, even after the collaring ceremony.

No relationship is perfect and the continuous need to work together is critical. This is where patience comes into play. Remember this saying, "good things come to those who wait." For those that don't have patience, they "snap" into the decision of a collar with anyone. Growing up snap bracelets (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slap_bracelet) were so much fun.
They easily go on and easily peel off. A "Snap" Collar just literary means it's instant collaring with most times, little to none forethought. It means that the Dom and sub could be more interested in the "show-off" factor of being collared and/or are in desperate need of attention that they don't care who their Dom or sub is.

Personally, little is more unattractive than an inpatient Dom or sub on the "hunt" for their next companion and making their impatient hounding known to everyone all the time. The Doms/subs that participate in the Snap Collars often times have someone elses collar every few days or weeks. They hardly ever stay in the relationship for long periods of time. These "relationships" are very popular and often cast a shadow over the Doms and sub that take more time getting to know eachother.

No one Dom or sub is perfect, including me. I gave my own "Snap" collar to my slave, Alex. We started to talk privately on June 11, 2009 and I collared him on June 16th. This being said, I admit I was impatient to get to know him better. He is a wonderful man. One of the sweetest men I am blessed with knowing. I don't feel ashamed, regretful, or anything besides complete happiness with my rushed decision to collar him. I can’t say that I am lucky to have him because luck isn't the right word. As Alex said, "We just found each other and worked on getting to know each other...It's hard to find words for us, except amazingly amazing." *smiles* As you can see, some quick decisions work out. Others can't. There is no way to tell them a part in the beginning. Everything requires time. The past 90+ days that I have had Alex as my slave are days that I have been blessed with and hope to never forget. We've all made our mistakes and we can only learn from them. I made no mistake with Alex; however, I have learned that sometimes even a snappy decision can become a good decision.

Wrapping this up, I urge everyone to be patient. Take the time you need to get to know someone. Don't waste a single moment thinking about the advantages of being with someone in the future. Don't seek attention by giving or accepting a "Snap" collar or even a vanilla relationship unless you fully are committed to and in each other. Commit time to getting to know each other before you give or accept a collar.

~♥~
Ms. D